tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33907095102338806062024-02-08T01:55:07.875+00:00The Everyday Happenings Of A Car Rental AgentBecause you can't make this stuff up...Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-6223740446353512572009-08-14T20:40:00.008+01:002009-08-17T12:07:47.135+01:00Top 20 Secrets Of Car Rental - 20 Car Rental Tips!<span style="font-size:130%;">Okay, so I've been working at this company for over 6 months now.<br />I feel like I can finally give you guys tips and secrets of car rental.<br />These tips will save you money and a lot of headache!<br /></span><ol><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Always make a reservation in advance! </span><span style="font-size:130%;">The desk price is ALWAYS higher, and by quite a bit. Shop around on travel websites and look for good deals.</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >PRE-PAID VOUCHERS</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> will be the cheapest option, and the rental company will "block" your card for less, because you've already paid for the entire rental! Also, Make sure you verify what extra charges you might incur on top of the pre-paid vouchers - airport fee, extra driver, baby seat, different location drop-off!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Smaller car rental firms will offer better deals</span><span style="font-size:130%;">, but their locations will be less conveniently located and will most likely not be open 24 hours a day.</span></li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ></span><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Airports are expensive! </span><span style="font-size:130%;">Airport surcharges can reach $30!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Bring your own baby seat / GPS</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> - these will save you about $5-10 per day each.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Prices vary from day rates / week rates / monthly rates.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> Consider taking the car for 7 days instead of 6, this may save you quite a bit. Some companies offer weekend deals, check!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Bait & Switch!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> They'll lure you in with "$9 per day", but you'll be forced into spending an additional $20 on mandatory insurance.</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Insurance is expensive! </span><span style="font-size:130%;">In most European countries, insurance is not optional and you'll spend anywhere from 50% to 70% of the rental charge on insurance alone. CDW is the basic insurance.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Rental employees will usually try and sell you supplementary insurance (NDI or LDW) </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >This is usually not necessary. It's a sure-way of the company to get their money</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. IF YOU THINK that you may be involved in an accident, this will be worth your while, because you'll spare the "deductible" which is usually anywhere between $400 and $1500, depending on the car. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">No types of insurance EVER cover glass and tyre damage. ONLY PREPAID VOUCHERS DO <span style="font-style: italic;">ON SOME OCCASIONS</span>!</span><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Always book the smallest car you think will fit you</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. Since the smallest and cheapest cars are the most commonly booked, they'll be the quickest to run out. We've often given out Intermediate sized cars even when the client booked the smallest car available. If you book at the airport or a large location, this will probably not be the case. This will more likely work in smaller locations<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Diversify your credit cards!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> A lot of times, various companies will offer better deals for different types of credit cards. American Express Centurion, Mastercard WORLD, Visa GOLD (Canada) all offer cheaper and more comprehensive insurances!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Fill up right before you get to the car-return</span><span style="font-size:130%;">! Some companies charge 150% more for petrol! <span style="font-style: italic;">NEVER opt for the 'prepaid petrol'</span><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Additional drivers will cost you</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> $3-10 per day. Consider whether this is really necessary. If it is, try and book this in advance, it may save you a few $$$. Some pre-paid vouchers will offer this free of charge! Try Holiday Autos or Dertour!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >You really don't need the International Driving License</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> unless your license is in a non-roman alphabet print. Make sure your license is valid for the country you are traveling to!<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Be nice and get an upgrade!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> Since upgrade rates don't exist per-se, you may be able to score a better car for less! A standard upgrade will be about $10 per day, but you may be able to get a car two classes up for the same price. Negotiate and be friendly to the car rental employee, and they'll likely oblige! Note that larger cars usually use more petrol, so the upgrade may cost you dearly..<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Negotiate the extra-driver charge!</span> Some employees will be likely to give it to you for free if you are nice!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Call the office you're renting from!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> Some locations don't offer 24hr service! Don't be stuck in the middle of the night outside a closed rental office!</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Remember to walk around the car and have the employee </span><span style="font-size:130%;">show you EVERY damage there is, and mark it down. <span style="font-style: italic;">Get a copy!</span> Make sure the spare tyre is there and that you know how to replace it in case you need to.</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Make sure to get the emergency number</span><span style="font-size:130%;">, just in case you get stuck. Cars break down a lot, and rental cars even more so than your usual car.</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Different countries have different car fleets.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> You may have booked a manual Opel Corsa, but you may be getting the automatic equivalent of that specific country. In Europe, most cars are Manual transmission, but elsewhere, manual transmissions are rare! You may not be getting a manual/automatic car. Check online with the </span><span style="font-size:130%;">company that you will be </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >picking your car up from</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" > </span><span style="font-size:130%;">and not the one you ordered from, because there will likely be a difference!</span></li></ol>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-35108780161577694882009-04-15T17:35:00.002+01:002009-04-15T17:37:59.889+01:00CocktailsAn employee from the main HQ came to our branch, and asked my colleague to refuel his truck.<br /><br />Unbeknown to him, the truck is a diesel. He put in regular unleaded.<br /><br />The next two hours were spent trying to remove all remains of the unleaded fuel, and eventually ended with a damaged engine.<br /><br />Hurray for ignorance!Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-36288697688015406332009-04-09T17:49:00.002+01:002009-04-09T17:51:01.972+01:00Fuel [2]I sent out a replacement car to a customer who had trouble with his car, claiming all sorts of lights came on. The tow truck driver spent 3 hours getting to said customer.<br /><br />When the driver dropped off the car, he noticed that the only trouble with the previous car was that the fuel light was on. The customer claims "I've never seen that light before, so I didn't know what it was."<br /><br />The thing is, in the car he had, it's shaped like a fuel pump.Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-70839260051065187462009-04-04T22:32:00.002+01:002009-04-04T22:37:03.343+01:00I'm not lying! HONEST!<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bold - Customer (on phone)<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Italics - Employee<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hi, I need a replacement car</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">What's the problem with the car miss?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The car-code (lock mechanism) won't let me start the car.</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">OK miss, I'll send a mechanic to you, and he should be there in about 2 hours. Where are you located?<br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">I'm at a hotel in [southern most part of country, ~3 hours from nearest city]</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">.<br /></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">No, wait! I don't want a mechanic, I want a new car.</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span></span>I can't send you a new car miss, because our mechanics know how to deal with this issue. The only justification for a new car would be if the mechanic fails to fix the problem or if the car's been through an accident and is not fit for driving.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Yes! THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT! We've been in an accident!</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span>(in the background)<span style="font-style: italic;">:</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> "no no! don't say accident! say there wasn't any accident!"</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />[...]<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-62473178347678806312009-04-04T21:48:00.008+01:002009-04-09T17:49:11.196+01:00Fuel [1]<strong>Bold - Employee<br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;">Italics - Customer (On Phone)<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Car Rental company, Anon speaking.</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Yes Hello, I need you to replace my car.</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Okay sir, (identifying customer) - What seems to be the problem?<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;">I was driving up a steep hill and the car suddenly shut down.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Did the car give any warning, perhaps a light on the dashboard?</span></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span>Yes, the NO FUEL light was on<span style="font-style: italic;">.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">And was there petrol in the car?<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;">No, it was almost empty, but I figured I could go about 30 more kilometers.<br /></span></strong><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqAkhkekJYNWsm6HvuU6wAwuDp81-Bl3n3q9dzHsZUdxHyptusSWSaGo0NG5Acx6I8KhOM8aPIdYrlFo02v-i9PkT3kxVmiXeqtIERn40R2N_ZB80XXV2KG6ALcmBOm2I59uSnGCAWoo8t/s1600-h/pd_empty_071212_ms.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqAkhkekJYNWsm6HvuU6wAwuDp81-Bl3n3q9dzHsZUdxHyptusSWSaGo0NG5Acx6I8KhOM8aPIdYrlFo02v-i9PkT3kxVmiXeqtIERn40R2N_ZB80XXV2KG6ALcmBOm2I59uSnGCAWoo8t/s400/pd_empty_071212_ms.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320943764194096162" border="0" /></a><br /><strong><span style="font-weight: bold;">[*facepalm*] Sir, what probably happened is there was very little petrol left, and the angle the car is in stops the petrol from getting to the engine. What you need to do is either fill up or tow the car to a level location and then fill it up. Either way, you should fill up as soon as possible.<br /></span><span style="font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;">I want you to send a tow truck.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Since there is no fault in the car, this costs about $100 to be billed from your account.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">I WILL NOT PAY! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! THIS IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO PAY FOR THE TOW TRUCK.<br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">If you don't want us to send a tow truck, you should probably hire one yourself then, or make a trip to the petrol station</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span>I</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;"> will do no such thing! I pay a lot of money for this car, and I am not responsible for this!</span><span style="font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span><span>(customer actually has cheapest car available for rent)</span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span><br />Okay sir, then what do you suggest we do?<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span><span><span style="font-style: italic;">I want you to tow the car at your expense.</span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span>I'm not going to do that. <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span><span>(rest of the call is just negotiating a solution. Nothing of interest. In the end, he agreed seeing as it's his fault... Obviously...)</span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></strong>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-49643224199262934682009-03-28T18:32:00.001+00:002009-03-28T18:35:28.039+00:00S350<p><strong>Bold - Employee<br /></strong><em>Italics - Customer</em> </p><p><em>This car is too small.</em><br /><strong>Well sir, it's twice the size of what you paid for.</strong></p><p><em>I want that Mercedes S350.</em><br /><strong>That's about $700 more per week</strong></p><p><em>Can't you give it to me for free?</em><br /><strong>Uh. No sir.</strong> </p>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-76027084075351873142009-03-09T09:37:00.003+00:002009-03-09T09:41:27.667+00:00Preemptive damageSo this customer walks in, and rents a car.<br />The car he's given is a regular sedan.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"So this is not a very tall car, it has a low clearance, right?"</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-"Yes, that's right."<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">"So when you mark down scratches, can you mark a few dents at the bottom?"</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">-"Uh, why would I do that?"<br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Well, it's a low car and it might get damaged."<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">-"Exactly, and you will have to pay if you damage it"</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">"But I don't want to pay..."</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">-"Then don't damage the car. I'm sorry sir, we don't work that way."</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-52020996740907426202009-02-27T00:16:00.004+00:002009-02-27T00:24:39.984+00:00How lazy are you!?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaOyhlfpThKOFNtZsC-hDWVMtVSsPo9DGtPXqwYcN1OvwtgXl1yvzI-boyJTDk09oSRkloFQLtDX1i3Yy0FERnxBrIuDYh1DCscEC-9URYuyM_5amGR6cxoWyD7gwEs-LuD7V11GbWrt3P/s1600-h/GTRlightsblog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 229px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaOyhlfpThKOFNtZsC-hDWVMtVSsPo9DGtPXqwYcN1OvwtgXl1yvzI-boyJTDk09oSRkloFQLtDX1i3Yy0FERnxBrIuDYh1DCscEC-9URYuyM_5amGR6cxoWyD7gwEs-LuD7V11GbWrt3P/s400/GTRlightsblog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5307266411190866418" border="0" /></a><br />So I've been asked this about a dozen times, but only by Americans.<br />"Does the car have automatic headlights?"<br /><br />No car in our arsenal apart from the occasional Mercedes has automatic headlights.<br />The only thing that's automatic is the transmission.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />"EVEN MY HYUNDAI AT HOME HAS AUTOMATIC HEADLIGHTS".</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Well, good for you. Our Hyundai's don't.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Typical. I should've known."</span><br /><br />So this is to the Americans (why is no one else complaining about this?) -<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">HOW HARD IT IS TO TWIST THE STUPID KNOB AND MAKE THE LIGHTS GO ON!?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">HOW LAZY HAVE YOU BECOME?<br /><br /><a href="http://blogs.edmunds.com/roadtests/2008/10/2009-nissan-gt-r-no-automatic-headlights.html#comments">Edit: SO apparently these people mostly agree with me, about this guy complaining about the auto-headlights.</a><br /></span></span>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-48258857247115959622009-02-23T21:28:00.004+00:002009-02-23T21:31:02.437+00:00Nothing of interest<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKi9JOD1PoBrmBr3cqedcFto-du2eQpZH2Dgd9ZBaC9OUQvGXE71FyNg6j7trOO9K6-O9NYi3wrDouuTYlu400mVJCxFMgN9_ahpy2wc_PAY8Cd89yFhOp6KTm1ntM3wUgldHVCYPM3ekA/s1600-h/better.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 301px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKi9JOD1PoBrmBr3cqedcFto-du2eQpZH2Dgd9ZBaC9OUQvGXE71FyNg6j7trOO9K6-O9NYi3wrDouuTYlu400mVJCxFMgN9_ahpy2wc_PAY8Cd89yFhOp6KTm1ntM3wUgldHVCYPM3ekA/s400/better.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306108306867542146" border="0" /></a><br />Today I treated customers with respect and nothing of interest happened.<br />Also, I had a banana.Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-77124226609822128352009-02-21T14:00:00.007+00:002009-02-21T14:09:19.224+00:00Friday Night Phone Calls [3]<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bold - me<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Italics - Customer (on phone)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Car Rental Company, Anon speaking<br /></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Hi, I need a car.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Okay miss, I can put in a reservation. When do you plan on picking the car up?<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">I... I'm sorry. What?!</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span> </span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(sounds offended...)</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">When were you planning on picking the car up?<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">[silence]<br /><br />*click*<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-61773033755392771192009-02-21T13:36:00.001+00:002009-02-21T14:08:36.157+00:00Lying ratsMore often than not, a client will return the car without a full tank of petrol.<br />It's clearly explained to the client that returning the car without a full tank of petrol will cost them a whole lot more. I'm talking $40 for half a tank...<br /><br />So to try and fool us, they'd come in a day before the rental period ends, and ask to replace the car because it has 'faulty breaks'. This is usually tested quite easily and found not to be the case.<br /><br />We won't tell them that we think they are lying. We <span style="font-style: italic;">will</span> replace their car.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">But only if the petrol tank is full.</span><br /><br />When we tell them that they returned the 'faulty' car without a full tank of petrol, they'll say they got it with half a tank anyway.<br />* Proceed to show them the document they signed stating that the car had a full tank of petrol, which they will quickly refute claiming that is not their signature.<br /><br />By then, it's only a matter of showing them the contract they signed, with the exact same signature 6 more times on the page...<br /><br /><br />I <span style="font-style: italic;">try</span> and not let the lying customers get under my skin, but most times I'm so ready to just throw a set of keys at them and yell "THERE! HERE YOU GO YOU LYING RAT".<br /><br />/rantAnon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-10047342294107905582009-02-21T13:25:00.001+00:002009-02-21T14:35:15.053+00:00A word of warningIf you refuse to sign documents I've asked you to sign after you've admitted to wrongdoing,<br />or you are just plain rude,<br />or you cause damage and you just 'leave' the car without letting us know -<br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">I WILL BILL YOU.</span></span><br />I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, AND I HAVE YOUR CREDIT CARD!<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN3RWfPzjsyvPDWLY6uGCtrtJGYXBq8sKT0h4xR4wVqj1VzTGtzUPBs1SjeliPm03ZjWtKPt_UpklHhIZ4fwKaprIC9V0NvBrMiydAPBrgTvH94XG3koNzkLTOnIOmMmAbKUWIPf1QtLMt/s1600-h/1235223105169.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN3RWfPzjsyvPDWLY6uGCtrtJGYXBq8sKT0h4xR4wVqj1VzTGtzUPBs1SjeliPm03ZjWtKPt_UpklHhIZ4fwKaprIC9V0NvBrMiydAPBrgTvH94XG3koNzkLTOnIOmMmAbKUWIPf1QtLMt/s320/1235223105169.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5305259135618253986" border="0" /></a>It's the little things that make me happy...<br /></div>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-4447284334905839132009-02-19T15:03:00.000+00:002009-02-21T14:09:26.682+00:00Tales of Insurance<strong>Bold - Employee</strong><br /><em>Italics - Customer</em><br /><br /><em>I have a car here.</em><br /><strong>Okay sir, do you have a reservation numbe</strong><strong>r?</strong><br /><br /><em>No. Find my name. It's (ambiguously spelled name</em>).<br /><strong>Sir, I can't find your reservation, could you spell me your name?</strong><br /><br /><em>No, find it on the computer.</em><br /><strong>Sir, are you sure your reservation is for today?</strong><br /><br /><em>Yes, of course.</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>[some time passes, during which his 5 children make a mess of the counter]</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Okay sir, I've found it, it was 3 days ago.</strong><br /><em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Plech</span>. Your computer is wrong.</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Okay sir, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">never mind</span>. I need your credit card and driving license.</strong><br /><br />[customer proceeds to give me 4 cards, bound in rubber bands, 3 of which are declined by his bank]<br /><br /><strong>Okay. I've given you a larger car than what you've ordered.</strong><br /><em>Can I get a 7 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">seater</span>?</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Not for this price sir. This price is for the smallest car we have.</strong><br /><em>But I want a 7 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">seater</span> for this price.</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>I can't do that sir, the computer won't allow it.</strong><br /><em>Try anyway.</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>I'm sorry sir, I can't do that.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><u><strong>Upon signing the rental contract:</strong></u><br /><em>What insurances do I have to pay?</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>The standard Collision Damage Waiver.</strong><br /><em>I don't want to pay it.</em><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br /><strong>Then I can't give you a car sir.</strong><br /><em>I told my travel agent I don't want to pay insurance.</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Sir, I cannot give you a car if you decline the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">COMPULSORY</span> insurance, you can only decline the additional insurances.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><em>Why am I declining them?</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>Sir, I offered you them and you said you don't want to pay them.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><em>You're right. I don't.</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Then sign the decline clause.</strong><br /><em></em><br /><em>Fine, but I'll have you know this is simply outrageous. I shouldn't have to pay for insurance.</em><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb_tSu-FREaBbAKodmHDc5k8FmSVL8Ybcr1OKHAtugq-d81a0_GDDETxfi79wTkmW_EdGsCxeXo0JYj_xbEA0pn8jl5UUicaIqb1lSGH2n4Lha96ZocoHRGI9i17Q6Xvj2IJH5z5STCQ6v/s1600-h/rhan76l.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 319px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb_tSu-FREaBbAKodmHDc5k8FmSVL8Ybcr1OKHAtugq-d81a0_GDDETxfi79wTkmW_EdGsCxeXo0JYj_xbEA0pn8jl5UUicaIqb1lSGH2n4Lha96ZocoHRGI9i17Q6Xvj2IJH5z5STCQ6v/s320/rhan76l.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304873762209662914" border="0" /></a>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-36414936170932683962009-02-10T03:20:00.000+00:002009-02-21T14:08:06.583+00:00You did what!?<strong>Bold - Employee</strong><br /><em>Italics - Customer (On phone)</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>Car rental company, Anon speaking</strong><br /><em>Hi, my car was stolen.</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>Uh, okay. Let me look up your information</strong><br /><strong>[...] </strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Okay sir, please tell me how the car was stolen.</strong><br /><em>I was just at the store for 5 minutes and my car was stolen.</em><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaCv8_G1CkKATSdPTkp0WLlFJXa2gf2-CO42_nQoGph53nDoTY3l02FXGnUIW78MRxKndIVKqXnM4ynwc-EtabjqQVFRq7pb9eVWhpaOVpgA0tjoq8DN69MqrifnaTDQa6U7CPvfM0m0tK/s1600-h/hyundai_getz.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaCv8_G1CkKATSdPTkp0WLlFJXa2gf2-CO42_nQoGph53nDoTY3l02FXGnUIW78MRxKndIVKqXnM4ynwc-EtabjqQVFRq7pb9eVWhpaOVpgA0tjoq8DN69MqrifnaTDQa6U7CPvfM0m0tK/s320/hyundai_getz.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304873229355691682" border="0" /></a><br /><em></em><br /><strong>Sir, did you lock the car with the alarm system?</strong><br /><em>No, I left the car running because I was only gone for 5 minutes! It's very close to my house</em>.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />[facepalm]</span><strong></strong><strong></strong>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-78662519726725192062009-02-04T22:43:00.002+00:002009-02-21T14:06:05.184+00:00Friday Night Phone Calls [2]<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bold - Employee<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Italics - Customer (on phone)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Car Rental Co, Anon speaking<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Hi, do you rent cars?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>Yes, we do sir.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Can I rent one?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Yes, you can sir.</span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Okay, I'd like to rent a car.</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Okay sir - you will have to come to one of our branches - where do you live?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Oh, you don't deliver the car to me?</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">No sir - you will have to come to one of our branches and sign a contract.</span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">This is an outrage! I shall report this to the local newspaper.</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Uh... Okay sir</span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">*click*</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-39164788539803193262009-01-22T15:50:00.000+00:002009-02-21T14:07:23.975+00:00Luggage Concerns<strong>Bold - Employee</strong><br /><em>Italics - Customer</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>Here you go sir. (Presenting customer <em>with a car)</em></strong><br /><br /><em>This is not big enough for me.</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>(Replaces car)</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Here you go sir, bigger car.</strong><br /><em></em><br /><em>I brought too much suitcase for 5 days.</em><br /><em>Do you know why I brought so many suitcases?</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>No sir, I do not.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><em>I don't know why.</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>OK sir...</strong>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-30854442069909696762009-01-22T15:32:00.000+00:002009-02-21T14:09:35.651+00:00What? The internet?<p><strong>Bold - Employee</strong><br /><em>Italics - Customer (on phone)<br /></em></p><p><strong>Car rental company, Anon speaking</strong><br /></p><p><em>Hey, I need to rent a car.<br /></em></p><p><strong>Okay sir, give me your details please.<br /></strong></p><p><em>But I always book through Jennifer.<br /></em></p><p><strong>Sir, I don't know who that is, but I can book your car for you.<br /></strong></p><p><em>Will it be more expensive?<br /></em></p><p><strong>I don't know what prices you've been given, but it might be. You can try booking through the internet.</strong><br /></p><p><em>How do I do that?<br /></em></p><p><strong>Log on to our website.<br /></strong></p><p><em>What is that? Like ooh-ooh-ooh?<br /></em></p><p><strong>What?<br /></strong></p><p><em>How is the internet? Like ooh?<br /></em></p><p><strong>I don't understand sir.<br /></strong></p><p><em>I'll try and use the internets then. Thank you<br /></em></p><p><strong>Good day sir.</strong></p>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-50765788042705666292009-01-20T22:53:00.001+00:002009-02-21T14:07:53.947+00:00Friday Night Phone Calls [1]<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bold - Me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Italics - Caller (on phone</span>)<br />10:30pm<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Car Rental Company - Anon speaking</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Uh, Who is this?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">This is Anon.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Ah, I see. Hello Anon.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello sir.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">I'm calling to inquire about a car.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Yes sir. How can I help you?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">I had a car, but it's in the garage.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Okay sir.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">When will it be out?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span>I don't know sir. Have you checked with your garage?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">No.<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">(wtf)</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> Better check in with them first then sir.<br /><br /></span></span>Oh. Allright. Bye.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3390709510233880606.post-55804544730768140332009-01-20T22:40:00.000+00:002009-02-21T14:07:42.145+00:00Brand new? Pfft<div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bold - Employee<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Italics - </span><span style="font-style: italic;">French customer</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />"Hey, I upgraded your car from a Hyundai Getz to a brand new Accent with 8 km on the meter"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-"I don't understand..."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"I upgraded your car.... You were supposed to get a Getz, I am giving you a brand new Hyundai Accent"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-"I'm sorry... Brand new?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Yes sir, brand new"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-"I dont understand, Is it not new?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"IT IS BRAND NEW"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-"So not very new?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"WE JUST GOT IT YESTERDAY IT HAS 8KM ON THE METER. IT IS THEREFORE BRAND NEW"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-"Oh. Okay...."</span><br /></div></div>Anon E. Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02492364266307691106noreply@blogger.com0