How lazy are you!?

So I've been asked this about a dozen times, but only by Americans.
"Does the car have automatic headlights?"

No car in our arsenal apart from the occasional Mercedes has automatic headlights.
The only thing that's automatic is the transmission.


"EVEN MY HYUNDAI AT HOME HAS AUTOMATIC HEADLIGHTS".
Well, good for you. Our Hyundai's don't.

"Typical. I should've known."

So this is to the Americans (why is no one else complaining about this?) -
HOW HARD IT IS TO TWIST THE STUPID KNOB AND MAKE THE LIGHTS GO ON!?
HOW LAZY HAVE YOU BECOME?

Edit: SO apparently these people mostly agree with me, about this guy complaining about the auto-headlights.

Nothing of interest

Today I treated customers with respect and nothing of interest happened.
Also, I had a banana.

Friday Night Phone Calls [3]

Bold - me
Italics - Customer (on phone)

Car Rental Company, Anon speaking
Hi, I need a car.

Okay miss, I can put in a reservation. When do you plan on picking the car up?
I... I'm sorry. What?! (sounds offended...)

When were you planning on picking the car up?

[silence]

*click*

Lying rats

More often than not, a client will return the car without a full tank of petrol.
It's clearly explained to the client that returning the car without a full tank of petrol will cost them a whole lot more. I'm talking $40 for half a tank...

So to try and fool us, they'd come in a day before the rental period ends, and ask to replace the car because it has 'faulty breaks'. This is usually tested quite easily and found not to be the case.

We won't tell them that we think they are lying. We will replace their car.

But only if the petrol tank is full.

When we tell them that they returned the 'faulty' car without a full tank of petrol, they'll say they got it with half a tank anyway.
* Proceed to show them the document they signed stating that the car had a full tank of petrol, which they will quickly refute claiming that is not their signature.

By then, it's only a matter of showing them the contract they signed, with the exact same signature 6 more times on the page...


I try and not let the lying customers get under my skin, but most times I'm so ready to just throw a set of keys at them and yell "THERE! HERE YOU GO YOU LYING RAT".

/rant

A word of warning

If you refuse to sign documents I've asked you to sign after you've admitted to wrongdoing,
or you are just plain rude,
or you cause damage and you just 'leave' the car without letting us know -

I WILL BILL YOU.
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, AND I HAVE YOUR CREDIT CARD!

It's the little things that make me happy...

Tales of Insurance

Bold - Employee
Italics - Customer

I have a car here.
Okay sir, do you have a reservation number?

No. Find my name. It's (ambiguously spelled name).
Sir, I can't find your reservation, could you spell me your name?

No, find it on the computer.
Sir, are you sure your reservation is for today?

Yes, of course.

[some time passes, during which his 5 children make a mess of the counter]

Okay sir, I've found it, it was 3 days ago.
Plech. Your computer is wrong.

Okay sir, never mind. I need your credit card and driving license.

[customer proceeds to give me 4 cards, bound in rubber bands, 3 of which are declined by his bank]

Okay. I've given you a larger car than what you've ordered.
Can I get a 7 seater?

Not for this price sir. This price is for the smallest car we have.
But I want a 7 seater for this price.

I can't do that sir, the computer won't allow it.
Try anyway.

I'm sorry sir, I can't do that.

Upon signing the rental contract:
What insurances do I have to pay?

The standard Collision Damage Waiver.
I don't want to pay it.

Then I can't give you a car sir.
I told my travel agent I don't want to pay insurance.

Sir, I cannot give you a car if you decline the COMPULSORY insurance, you can only decline the additional insurances.

Why am I declining them?

Sir, I offered you them and you said you don't want to pay them.

You're right. I don't.

Then sign the decline clause.

Fine, but I'll have you know this is simply outrageous. I shouldn't have to pay for insurance.

You did what!?

Bold - Employee
Italics - Customer (On phone)

Car rental company, Anon speaking
Hi, my car was stolen.

Uh, okay. Let me look up your information
[...]

Okay sir, please tell me how the car was stolen.
I was just at the store for 5 minutes and my car was stolen.

Sir, did you lock the car with the alarm system?
No, I left the car running because I was only gone for 5 minutes! It's very close to my house.


[facepalm]

Friday Night Phone Calls [2]

Bold - Employee
Italics - Customer (on phone)

Car Rental Co, Anon speaking
Hi, do you rent cars?

Yes, we do sir.
Can I rent one?

Yes, you can sir.
Okay, I'd like to rent a car.

Okay sir - you will have to come to one of our branches - where do you live?
Oh, you don't deliver the car to me?

No sir - you will have to come to one of our branches and sign a contract.
This is an outrage! I shall report this to the local newspaper.

Uh... Okay sir
*click*